At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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