no. you can't hotbox the world.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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