He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
