I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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