Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
