I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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