How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
