Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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