So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
