How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
