it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
