and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize