yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
