just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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