is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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