doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
