then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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