fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
