so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
