you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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