All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
