The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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