actually, I'm a sock model
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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