Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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