ugly people sure do ruin things
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
