i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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