I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
