Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
