I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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