Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
