Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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