nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
