I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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