You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
