never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
