My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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