dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think your dad took our porno
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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