I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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