I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
