just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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