p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
