Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize