then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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