I'm jealous of your bromance
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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