I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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