My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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