let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
