Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
