He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
