I wish I could punch you in the face.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
