does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
