just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
