im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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