I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
