Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
