So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
