"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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