Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
