My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
