Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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