My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
