so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
