it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
