You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she looked like the before picture.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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